Opening The Door To My Heart

I want to share with you something that came out of my yoga session today. Every Tuesday I join other mothers of special needs children for yoga and meditation. A time for us to share with each other without judgment.
Today the session was around the “heart“.
The yoga instructor lead us through this meditation:
We had to go to our safe place in nature wherever that might be in the meadow, woods, mountains, beach etc. My safe place to meditate and reflect is at the beach.

As I closed my eyes and started visualizing myself walking along the beach, I felt the wind blowing against my hair, I smelled the salt air, I heard the crashing of the waves and felt the sand squishing between my toes.
Then she said “you have walked up to a door. What color is your door? Is it an ornate door, barn door? What does the handle look like?”
My door was red, with flowers and birds painted on it with a shiny gold door knob.
She now asked, “us to walk through the door.” We were walking into a room. We were walking into our heart.
She asked “us to notice what the room looked like. Was it big or small? Light or dark? Was there paint on the wall or windows?”
As I walked into my room, it was so bright, it was white, the room was big with large windows that were open and long flowing curtains were blowing in the wind. I could smell lavender. I felt my heart skip a beat. I felt excited!

She asked “us to look around and notice all the memorabilia (pictures, things that are sentimental) of good times and bad. Pictures of people we lost, or places we have been.” These are memories that we have stored in your heart. She asked us “how did we feel?”
My first thought was WOW! I sure have been through a lot. I felt peaceful!
I saw a picture of my mother, I saw myself in the hospital when my son was born, I saw my childhood home and me playing with friends.
I felt proud! I wasn’t sad or upset. I felt a sense of pride for all that I have been through good and bad, and I am still standing here. These were the things that made me who I am today. The strong woman,  the caring mother, the loving wife, the compassionate friend I am today. I was proud! I felt good here.
This place held my accomplishments, my failures. The good times I had, the sad times, the scary times and the times I just wanted to give up.
She then told us, “it was time to leave, to close the door.”
As we went around the room to share, it was interesting what this exercise brought to others. There was a lot of sadness, anger, and questions that weren’t answered for others. For me, it was a place of pride, a place of solace. To know that I am who I am because of these things and to be proud of what I made of myself because of them.
Try this exercise at home. See how you feel from it. What is it telling you?